May 4, 2013 - February 7,2023
My 'not so much a Lady' Arya has gone to the Gods...
Arya Nymeria Stark Donohoe, first of her name, was born on May 4, 2013 in Parnell, Iowa to Bob & Janet Donohoe and their kids. Her Ladymother was "Lady Donohoe" and her father was one of 2 scoundrel's – Dozer Donohoe {13 yo GSD} or Lucky Donohoe {8-month-old GSD}. Odds are it was Dozer – he was older; wiser and knew his way around a pretty girl. But alas, we'll never know, and it doesn't matter - they had fun – we got a puppy. She had several beautiful siblings who all went to amazing family & friends’ homes.
Arya was named after the fiercest Stark of them all - the "I’ll never be a Lady" Arya - and her Direwolf Nymeria. It's Game of Thrones for those of you that never read or watched one of the all-time greatest pieces of entertainment ever. So if you don’t get it – shame on you. It’s a PERFECT NAME!
Arya started her life with Tim, Muzzie (my late mother Babs or Gram) and I on July 5th, 2013 @ 9 weeks old. It was in the heart of Chicago (North Center | Wrigleyville) that her life really began!! She loved to walk up and down the city blocks – sniffing everything, but never, ever soiling the grass. She went through an obedience class, graduated at the TOP of the class (she’s a German Shepherd – we expected nothing less) and excelled at pretty much everything she tried. As she was my 5th dog as an adult, and I act like I’m better than Cesar the dog whisperer <I know I’m not> – I was her Alpha & trainer. She listened to me 97% of the time. The other 3% - we’ll not discuss as there was always a distraction of some sort to make her tune me out. It wasn’t her fault; she was very focused on whatever it was that distracted her. Like a leaf or a squirrel or a bee buzzing in the wind. Point is – I was the MAMA and she was my baby.
As mentioned – she was born on a farm but raised in the city. For the 1st year of her life, she would only go "potty" on rocks/cement. When she walked on grass - she was disgusted by it. When we moved to the burbs in 2014 and finally had a HUGE yard to run and play - she 'christened' every inch of the yard and wouldn't go near the $2k dog potty rock patch we put in just for her. Ka-CHONG for our savings and WHA WHA for Tim on poop patrol – 12 square feet turned into a lot and ½ yard!
She started out as the third member of our pack, joining Nella (Parnella Bean- our also Iowa born - Jack Russell) and Fleck (Fleckless Necessitous - our city born English Springer Spaniel). She started out as small as Nella - and grew to be much, much bigger than Fleck - but she always deferred to them. They were her Mama & Papa dogs, and she was their baby. As the years went on, Fleck passed first and Arya became 2nd in command when Sansa Lady (also named after GoT for those reading that aren't nerds) joined our pack in 2016. For a long while, we had the 3 girls - 2 littles and 1 big. Arya was always so gentle and never played too rough with her 20lb and 10lb sisters. Then it was time for Nella to cross the rainbow bridge in 2019 and we got a boy to round out our pack. Finnegan Hamish (Tennessee born Scottish Rough Collie) joined us, and Arya was in LOVE! She had never felt fully comfortable around big dogs - but watching him grow from little to big cured her of her fear. After Finn - she suddenly felt comfortable being around any size and realized for the first time ever – she didn’t have to be super gentle.
In July 2022 Arya took to her first Feline sibling (Mimosa Ginger "Mimi kitty" – orange tabby @ 4 weeks old and 9 ounces) and another loving relationship was born. She was the gentlest she’d ever been and would groom Mimi and allow her to sleep cuddled up against her.
Arya always made friends wherever she went, but her CORE was her siblings and her bestest cousin "Big" who visited often. Arya adored Big - but got jealous of his and Finn's energy as she aged. She’d play for about 1 hour and then retreat to her mancave to let the boys be crazy. She also loved when her other bestie "Seamus" visited too - because he wasn't as crazy as the others and would just relax with her. She longed to spend time with Yolanda and Princess, but they just loved each other from afar.
Although Arya was typically very timid around men - she was quite relaxed with the ladies. She was also VERY PARTIAL to new mothers. Well, if they didn't let their "pups" cry. After Kelly had Jude, and they were visiting - Kelly let Jude cry for a bit while she was getting ready to feed him and Arya - like the good Mama dog she was - actually gave her dirty looks (think German side-eye!) until she picked up the baby and soothed her. Arya was pacing and tense until Jude was calmed. Then when Jennifer and her 1st born Kyler came over - she did the same to them. We realized Arya was like a typical English/Irish Nanny/Mammy and could scold with simple looks. She learned that from my mother- the master of the “One Look”. One look said it all. I just thank the Gods Arya couldn't throw slippers.
Arya's relationship with my Ladymother - her Grandmother - was one of majestic beauty. Arya came into our life when Babs health starting trending downward. As Arya grew up - she learned that she needed to protect her Gram. Every single night at bedtime, Arya would start out either in bed with Muzzie - or on the floor - right at her feet. Around 4 in the morning, she'd work her way to our bedroom and crawl into bed with us until it was time to wake up - go outside and then eat. Once that happened it was right back into Muzzie's room until she was ready to get up. No matter where my mother was - Arya was at her feet, watching her, protecting her. Anytime Muzzie was in the hospital or away from home, Arya was constantly on the watch for her. She was never her normal self and was on high alert until Gram came home. When Muzzie would go into a rehab or nursing facility for her ‘tune ups’ thank goodness we were able to bring her up there. All we’d have to say is – “Are you ready to go see Gram?” – Arya would BOLT to the back door for her leash and literally WHINE LOUDLY the entire way until we got to the room. She would actually DANCE in the elevator – as she couldn’t keep her excitement to herself. Then she’d attack her with kisses and wags until she’d be satisfied enough to lay beside her. When Muzzie’s end of life was near – Arya never left her side. During mom’s week of hospice in our home – Arya only went outside for minutes, ate quickly and resumed her spot right next to the bed. Oftentimes you’d see her just sitting up, chin resting on the bed staring intently at her Gram – as if willing her to wake up and pet her again. After she passed away – it took Arya months and months to stop being on her alert phase waiting for Gram to come home. It broke my heart because anytime we said “Gram” – her eyes & ears would perk up – she’d tilt her head and look at us as if to say – She’s back??
Key aspects of Arya's life are as follows:
Chased 22,719 squirrels (give or take 1000!) – catching only 2 – but not hurting them
Chased thousands of bunnies and again – caught only 2 – 1 mama and 1 baby – but she was good – Catch and Release was her motto.
Rolled in Skat anytime she found it - especially making certain that she rubbed it COMPLETELY over her beautiful face, enough so – that it would take me hours to get it completely out.
Got sprayed by 3 skunks - and still wouldn't learn her lesson
Love to eat POOPSICLES - frozen pieces of her sisters and brothers poopings. Yes, it was disgusting. Yes, we did everything we could to stop it. No, it didn't always work. Dog toothpaste and breath spray was always available.
Jumped several fences - HIGH fences to get at a "critter" then stood there (on the other side) staring at us and waiting to have us bring her home. It was as if she was like – I jumped once even though I’m not supposed to – so I should sit here like a good girl and wait until my mom walks all the way around to get me. See mom – I listen SUPER GOOD.
Shed over 12,000,000,000 pounds of beautiful German Shepherd glitter (aka dog hair!) which subsequently destroyed 6 vacuums in her almost 10 years of life. And not cheap ones - Dyson; Shark; Bissell - none of them were a strong contender to her hair.
Barked furiously & scary mean every single time our wonderful neighbor Lowell so much as moved in his backyard - yet when Lowell was at our house - let him pet her.
Refused to listen to Tim EVER when he called her to come in. It wasn't her fault. It was his. I was Alpha, then she was next in the pack and maybe - all the way down was Tim. It was because he loved her too much and babied her. He never yelled, he never was firm, he was just Tim. Even when he’d stomp his foot and say loudly – come – she’d look at him and laugh.
Arya was ALWAYS very particular with her toys. She took very good care of them and never chewed or destroyed anything. Her most favorite was “Pigeon”. She would carry Pigeon everywhere and when she slept – Pigeon was usually beside her. When Finnegan came into our lives – he destroyed EVERY PLUSH TOY we had – including Pigeon 1. Arya did not like; understand or accept this. So after Mama found & bought a Pigeon 2 - she began hiding things from Finn. Then she decided that any ball thrown outside to Finn, needed to be protected and brought back inside and hidden as well. If Tim was playing catch with the dogs outside and Arya caught it – she would promptly bring it inside and place in her spots. She was determined to make Finn suffer for his rudeness.
Despite LOVING being outside – in 8 and ½ years Arya NEVER laid down in the Easy Street yard. She worked security every minute she was out there. She sniffed every blade of grass; every plant; every tree and every bird feeder/birdhouse. She simply NEVER relaxed! Even when Tim and I were outside on the deck; feet up watching a movie – she was always on the move. The other dogs would lay down and nap, while Arya paced, roamed and made sure we were safe. When I’d be tending to my garden – she’d be in there with me – making sure no bugs or bunnies came near. She took her job seriously and would never be called lazy when it came to protection.
Arya had BBS – Bashful Bladder Syndrome – which means she would never potty outside her home yard. 2-mile walks and she would wait until she got home. Once when we were in Iowa for a quick overnight trip – when she was young, she held it for more almost 30 hours. Thankfully subsequent trips – she’d cave and go at night and in the morning – but that was it! She certainly had "issues" – but having a bit of “outside bathroom phobia” myself – I understood and accepted her struggles.
She never did realize her size and even though her top weight was 85lbs she was a lapdog. I also blame this on Tim because he always picked her up and held her as if she was a baby. He also used her constantly as a pillow whilst laying on the couch – so she realized she could also use anything else as her ‘pillow comfort’ including people.
Her timidness and anxiety was so silly at times. She would literally bark and look so menacing to a stranger – yet if they came near her – she would run and hide in the mancave. We always teased that Nella at 20lbs was more of a threat than our 85lb GSD. Her fear of lightning; thunder and fireworks was so bad that sometimes we’d have to medicate her (thank the Gods for CBD & Cubbingtons!)
I could literally write endlessly on the virtues & shenanigans of my German girl - but I will spare you the novel.
In the end – her passing was a shock. For all practical purposes – she was a normal, healthy ‘senior’ {almost 10 years old} dog. Her 2022 yearly exam and bloodwork was perfect. Although she had slowed down a bit - she was active, happy and thriving. In January she started eating less – which was odd. So, I took her in for bloodwork again and to be checked out. Nothing seemed amiss – we attributed it to her age and possibly becoming a bit more picky in her food choices. Then on Feb 6th – I called the vet again. I just knew something was wrong with her.
Not ever having children – but being born to be a ‘mother’ – I know my babies. I know what their barks mean, wags mean and whines mean. They can’t talk to me – but I know them explicitly as they are truly my world. I got her into the vet the next day.
Once Dr. M looked at her – she knew too. Arya’s stomach was extended and hard. They did an X-ray immediately. I knew it wasn’t a typical bloat – because she hadn’t eaten. The X-Ray confirmed it was a mass and Doc knew she needed a specialized ultrasound to determine the extent of it. As I rushed her to the Emergency Vet – I was sobbing uncontrollably. I called Tim and my sisters Denise & Jane because I needed to hear their voices. Then I had to call work and my amazing loving coworker and friend Candice covered my day and prayed with me.
By the time I got to the ER – they were waiting for me. I cannot say enough about the staff at Vet Specialty in Bannockburn. They were the most loving and caring folks I’ve had the pleasure enough to meet. They brought Arya to triage while I did paperwork and registered her history. My vets had already spoken with them for all their information so that made it so much easier for me.
The ultrasound confirmed what Dr. M had thought – Arya had Hemangiosarcoma (a common malignant tumor of the spleen usually seen in older dogs 8–10 years of age)
When the doctor came in and told me that – I had hard decisions to make. The tumor was malignant and bleeding. It could rupture at any moment and although the first round of tests showed it was only attached to the spleen – only surgery could tell if it had reached other organs. The surgery was very risky too. Even IF she was to survive the surgery – she’d have to undergo chemo treatments and at most they estimated she’d only live another 2-5 months. Knowing my baby, knowing her anxiety issues and every single thing about her personality – I knew in my heart it wasn’t an option. I wanted another 5 months – f*ck – I wanted another 5 years - but I simply couldn’t put her through that. So I called Tim and he came straightaway to the ER.
We laid on the floor with her, and Alex our vet tech – brought Arya a ‘charcuterie’ paper plate of food. I had mentioned to him that prior to having had to put my other dogs (& cat) down – I’d always known and made sure they got the best steaks and treats of their lives prior to their last day. So Alex – the sweetheart – raided the fridge and made her his ‘charcuterie’ board including cheese; turkey; ham; canned beef and an entire bottle of Cheese in a Can. If Tim has a choice – I’d imagine this is what he’d pick for his last supper. It was perfect for her.
She ate well, Tim and I kissed and cuddled her for over an hour and told her what a perfect dog she’d been and how much we loved her and then Doc came in and did the most humane thing ever invented. She passed with her head in my lap – and me stroking her ears – as that was our standard regular position.
It’s been 10 days since she’s been gone. But she’s home again – as we have her ashes & paw print back. She’s rests on the mantle with our previous pets - Rockbolt (GSD); LePue (kitty); Modine Bighead (Rottweiler); Sami Neumann (GSD/Collie mix); Fleckless Necessitous (English SS) and Parnella Bean (JRT). Right next to that is my Muzzie; my Pops and my Uncle Al & Aunt Kathe. Small pieces of the people and animals I’ve cherished.
I know that the second she crossed over – my Muzzie – Arya’s Gram was waiting for her and that Fleck & Nella have their baby again. That brings me comfort – knowing and imagining them together once more for eternity.
I’ll see her again one day – as that’s my idea of heaven and it’s what gets me through every minute without her.
February 17 2023
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I want to thank {for the millionth time} our Iowa Donohoe Family for giving us our girl – she was treasured and loved beyond words and we will always be grateful that you gave us the opportunity to be her family.
All of the folks that loved Arya despite her “issues” – especially:
Auntie Jane and Auntie Denise – who were her surrogate Mama’s when I wasn’t there. And Denise – for letting Arya knock her down in the yard and play with her whilst struggling to get back up.
Steve P & Mike G – even though she only let you pet her like 3 times in almost 10 years - she really DID like you guys.
Our dearest friends Regina and Art for sending us beautiful windchimes and a GSD Garden flag for our yard. It is a perfect memorial for her!
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